


Fools and Pools

by ObtuseOctopus



Series: The Ortiz Family [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Attempt at Humor, F/F, Gen, Hot Tub, New Year's Eve, New Year's Fluff, New Year's Kiss, New Years, Some Humor, Swimming Pools
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:53:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22065070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObtuseOctopus/pseuds/ObtuseOctopus
Summary: • COMPLETE. One shot. •Before Malachite, Lapis and Jasper had... a confusing relationship. It’s New Years Eve, and all Jasper wanted was that damned New Year kiss.
Relationships: Jasper/Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe)
Series: The Ortiz Family [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1574440
Kudos: 17





	Fools and Pools

“Lapis, get out of the hot tub.”

“No.”

“Lapis, get out-“

“No.”

Jasper watched as her girlfriend disappeared underwater, sliding down into the hot tub and letting the steaming water wash over her head and hair. It was at this point that she knew she was dealing with a child stuck in the body of an adult.

“Lapis!” Jasper hissed. “Come on, New Years begins in ten minutes!” She groaned. “You can’t even hear me under there… Oh my god.”

“Is everything alright?” Pearl asked as she casually strolled on over, a glass of sparkling water in hand. 

“It’s fine, it’s just my stupid girlfriend…” Jasper said, watching as Lapis resurfaced. “Lapis, New Years begins in-“

“I don’t wanna come out,” Lapis stated plainly, arms crossed as she leaned back against the rim of the tub. 

“God- this is why I didn’t want to celebrate at a fancy hotel. She gets weird with water,” Jasper complained to Pearl.

“Hmm. I can see why she doesn’t want to come out though. The hot tub  _ is _ pretty relaxing,” Pearl commented.

“Yeah, but it’s New Years soon! She’s going to make me miss out on the New Year's kiss!” Jasper pointed out.

“Kiss me in the water,” Lapis suggested boredly. “Coward.”

“Lapis-“

“Hit or miss.” Lapis disappeared under the hot water again, driving Jasper livid.

Jasper turned to Pearl. “I want a new girlfriend.”

“Don’t look at me. I think you two should work this out, I’m going to give you both some space,” Pearl wisely said. She began to slowly back away, drink and all. Jasper could feel one eye twitching.

“Lapis, you dumb brat-“ Jasper began as she turned back to the hot tub.

“What?” Lapis pretended not to hear when she once again had resurfaced, pulling soaked hair out of her face.

“You-!”

Lapis stretched up in the hot tub, sitting up tall. With both hands, she wrapped them around Jasper, threatening to pull her in. Jasper in turn panicked, managing to hold her ground easily and pull away just as quick with some force. 

“Lapis-!” Jasper hissed, wiping off her now wet shirt.

“Missed me. Now you gotta kiss me,” Lapis stuck out her tongue, remaining in the hot tub.

“I swear to god, you’re like five years old,” Jasper grimaced, standing once she regained balance.

“Seven minutes left!” Someone called from the crowd celebrating outside the hotel as well. The pool was crowded, but the hot tub was pretty much deserted save for Lapis, due to how everyone flocked more close together to where the gathering had conjured in higher number.

“Lapiiiissss!” Jasper griped. “Come onnnn. Stop being such a pain in the ass.”

“I already said you can just kiss me, I’m not getting out,” Lapis reasoned.

“Why. Not?” Jasper spat.

“Eh. It’s warm,” Lapis shrugged. 

“If you get out, I can warm you up. There’s towels, Lapis.”

“Can I get a dollar for every time you say my name?”

“NO!” Jasper pulled on her own hair to keep herself under control. “LAPIS. Get. Out.”

“Mm. Try again later,” Lapis sighed.

Jasper was ready to scream. She walked away, most dissatisfied, a scowl on her face and her body feeling like it was ready to hit anything nearby. She flocked towards where the crowd had gathered, standing off to the side as she watched everybody else. Her stubborn ass of a girlfriend was driving her insane.

“Five minutes!” Someone announced.

Jasper swore she could feel her blood boil. Why was Lapis such a kid?! Why was her girlfriend like this?! She took an empty tanning seat by the main pool, feeling like she was the most cursed being alive.

“Yo. Dude. Where’s your G.F?” One of her sisters came by and asked as they held a beachball under one arm, staring at Jasper with a raised brow.

“Being a butt,” Jasper managed past gritted teeth. “She won’t come out of the hot tub.”

Amethyst looked over towards the hot tub and laughed. “She’s part fish, I’m telling ya, I’m telling ya.”

“Part fish or not, who the fuck just… refuses to come out for a second?! For a New Year kiss?!”

“Oooh. Damn, I’m sorry. That sounds rough, sis,” Amethyst popped her lips. “Did you try saying please?”

“No.”

“Then that’s what ya missin’! Go on girl, go get her!”

“Ugh…”

“Two minutes!” Again someone called.

“Come on, come on, you’re gonna miss it!” Amethyst attempted to coax. “Come on Jas, you can do it! Jas-per!! Jas-per! Jas-per!”

“Will you knock it off if I go back over to her?”

“Maybe,” Amethyst chuckled. “Depends on my schedule.”

Jasper reached out with one hand, smacking the ball out of her grasp. She sent it spiked towards the pool, where some people noticed it and dove for it.

“Dude! What the hell?!” Amethyst frowned.

“Your schedule looks busy now. You know, fetching a ball and all,” Jasper smugly said.

“You cheeky mother-trucker…” Amethyst breathed. Then, she rushed after the beachball.

“One minute!” The call rang again.

Jasper hitched her breath, glancing back at the hot tub. What if Lapis still refused?! God damn, she wished she had a normal girlfriend; one who didn’t have a weird mermaid hobby or whatever… one who wasn’t such an immature ass-!

“TEN!”

Jasper groaned loudly, leaning back into the tanning chair.

“NINE!”

Jasper furrowed her brows.

“EIGHT!”

Jasper stayed put.

“SEVEN!”

No way was she moving.

“SIX!”

No way.

“FIVE!”

Nope, not moving. 

“FOUR!”

Should she move…-?

“THREE!” 

There wasn’t much time-!

“TWO!”

Jasper was ready to accept defeat. Fuck it. Her girlfriend was lame. Choosing a hot tub over her…

“ONE!”

Just as Jasper began to close her eyes, suddenly something sopping wet landed on her. She immediately jolted her eyes open, her lips meeting something soft and warm. When her eyes adjusted to the pool party’s atmosphere, she found Lapis over her, greeting her in a kiss. Jasper was flabbergasted.

“... Happy New Years,” Lapis grinned when she had pulled away. It didn’t take long for her to start heading back towards the hot tub either.

Jasper inhaled deeply, nearly falling over as she stumbled up to her feet. “YOU BRAT-!”


End file.
